Forget You Forever - A Spoken-Word Poem

This is a spoken-word poem I wrote, regarding a... friend I used to have. Used to, anyway. I rather like it, painful and sad as it is. I'm a rather pessimistic person when it comes to writing poetry, as some of you may know.


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You still haunt me, after all these months. Everything reminds me of you; sometimes the silliest things call up memories of a friendship--so amazing it seemed like a fairy tale--that started once upon a time and ended in heartbreak. Every day I see something that makes me think of you. When I see a meerkat on TV, I think of our stories of meerkats flying in airplanes, and I can't help but give a sad smile. When I hear anyone mention Russia, I remember how passionate you were about that country, and something inside me dies a little. Things like robots, or video games like Halo or Black Ops... all of this and more calls up memories of you. Memories of how you said I mattered a lot to you; memories of how you said you would always be there for me, no matter what happened.

I cry each night for you, talking to you even though I know you cannot hear me, for you live thousands of miles away. I stare at the velvet night sky through a haze of tears, and I ask, "Do you think of me? Did you ever care, or was it all a lie?" You cannot answer. Even if I voiced these thoughts to you, you would not answer. It seems to be impossible for you to speak the truth about your feelings. You never trusted me. I don't blame you.

Why can I not forget you? You left me, without an explanation or even a farewell. You left me, but you still live on in my heart, and it's slowly killing me. I want to forget you, take this pain away from me. I do not want to spend my life thinking of you, wondering how you are doing, where you are in life, whether you are thinking of me. It hurts, it hurts. Please, just go away and leave this empty shell of who I used to be. Why? Why can I not forget? Why can I not forget you forever, until the sky falls and the world burns and we finally realize there is no such thing as 'happily ever after'?